Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize