does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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