You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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