I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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