Just took my morning after pill in the library
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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