1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You made out with two different species that night
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
