My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
even my farts smell like vagina
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
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