She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
