At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
