I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize