Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
