i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
