is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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