I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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