Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
