I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
