This girl is more easily done than said...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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