I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Found the puke drawer
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
50% drunk capacity currently
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
