I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Fuck appropriateness.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I didn't notice because vodka
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
