um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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