if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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