the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize