oh god the rape fog is back!
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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