Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
