Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
