PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize