I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
