White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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