You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
