Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
