You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
