i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
