I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
