the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
