I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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