He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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