The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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