weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
