This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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