i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
