thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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