i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize