her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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