i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
