I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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