i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
