margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
