Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
