What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
