Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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