12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
