I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
