batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
