Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I've blown a few things in my day
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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