Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
