I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
