Pants 0. Shit 1.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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