I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize