Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
