you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The adults are the big ones right?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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