He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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