I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
