i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
