I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
