i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
