I think im going to throw up on grandma
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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