It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
