I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
