shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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