I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize