i think i have herpe
just one?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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