I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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