I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
