HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
