Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize