She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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