I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
