In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
