So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
